the last week has been most unmusical...my grandmother had a surprise bout with cancer and was in hospice for a few days before she died. the weird silence of that time was only broken by the little portable breathing machine thing with a rolling three-part noise which mingled with breathing as the two most terrifying sounds in my recent memory.

then of course there's the funeral where the terrible organist drones the most basic left hand to a frail sketch of melody - it's like baby food...anything strong and people are going to 'lose it' which, you know, isn't a bad thing. my grandfather watched the all day john wayne festival the day after her death, and my family flitted around, and i of course just wanted to dig out some faure or something and just be miserable in my own world, but i couldn't be so selfish nor melodramatic.

now i'm listening to lillux, the most horrible, crappy madonna-owned shlock. i wish shakira would strangle these dumb canadians. in the traditional major label chase, it took me over 20 tranfers to talk to someone who had any idea how i might get this promo. lovely.